THE TOWN CRIER

Report From Town Hall

(July 28^th, 2009)

The Laughlin Town Advisory Board recently held its regular monthly meeting. Despite the fact that the Board is filled with Quislings doing the biding of everyone but the voters of the township, this last meeting was a two thumbs up performance not to be missed. The Occupation Board is starting to come into its own, sort of like how a new soap opera needs a few episodes to find its feet. So much went on that this will be the longest article I’ve ever written for The Laughlin Herald.

Extraordinary Liar Award

Right off the bat was the announcement that county management had awarded a Clark County 2009 Extraordinary Customer Service Award to David Alsbury. Readers will recall he was a key member of the infamous “Fact Finders” ad hoc committee that distributed a three and half page diatribe on how we can’t afford to incorporate. It was filled with misrepresentations, misleading slight of hand and outright lies. One of the most flagrant was the inclusion of $5,549,289.00 of employee expenses (Justice Court, Constable, Detention Officers and the Sanitation & Water District) as well as a $40,000,000.00 debt on the local wastewater treatment plant that would remain county responsibility even after incorporation. Forty five million bucks is not an “error”. It’s a bald faced lie. Unless the “Fact Finders” committee members were incompetent to a degree that they need a court appointed guardian. So I guess this award was an “attaboy” to David from county management

Has Anyone Stepped Outside Lately?

Once again, we were reminded that National Night Out is being celebrated here in Laughlin at the same time as the rest of the country. You know, there’s a reason that this very patriotic town doesn’t have a big Independence Day celebration complete with a fair, parade, etc. I have a neighbor across the street from me who one summer put out one of those round clock style thermometers in his carport. It melted like a Salvador Dali painting. How about for 2010 we consider doing this in September or October when the temperature drops below the melting point of lead?

For The Love of God, Hasn’t Anyone Heard of the Toastmasters Club?

There were three extended presentations, one from the county, one from the water district and one from the airport. All could have been edited down to a length that didn’t make you want to gnaw your arm off like an animal caught in trap. And Metro needs to station an officer at Board meetings to Taser anyone who speaks for more than 60 seconds in a monotone.

I won’t dwell much on the presentation from the Development Services Department which spoke about the Residential Building Permit Amnesty, except to say isn’t it nice that once every few years the county acts like you actually own your own property. And the presentation from the airport was swell and had cool pictures and lots of graph charts, but I think my mind left my body for a while during the slideshow.

But then we got some excitement! I smell a new reality show. Bronson Mack, the representative from the Las Vegas Valley Water District, which manages the local Big Bend Water District, gave a mind numbing presentation about the adoption of new district rules for Big Bend. Now I’ve complained in the past about dull and ponderous presentations from staff that are meant to deliberately confuse or hide issues from the public. Nonetheless, that tactic sure didn’t work this time.

I spoke about one part of this presentation at the end of the Board meeting when the local serfs are allowed to speak, but in all honesty the big drama came from my Bolshi buddy Board Member Mike Bekoff. Now Mike has no moral right to sit on the Board and his pinko politics are somewhere to the left of CNN, but I’ve always liked Mike on a personal basis. We got to know each other originally when we were opposing panelists on the KLBC-TV Channel 2 program segment “Head To Head” during the last presidential election.

Now I wasn’t surprised that Mike was concerned about rate increases for individuals in their homes. That’s a no brainer for someone like Mike. What blew the roof off the room (and got Mike a hearty round of applause) was how powerfully he went after Bronson, asking him in a stern and almost angry tone “are you going to stand there and tell me?” and went off on Bronson from A-Z. Mike also, again much to my surprise, tore into him about connection fees for developers which Mr. Bekoff noted were far higher than surrounding jurisdictions, providing a clear disincentive for development once the economy recovers. Mike later told me he was in fact pro-business which before this meeting I would never have believed, no matter how much I like Mike. But it gets better.

I had privately chided Mike in the recent past about being timid and acquiescent in how the Board routinely ran after his first few meetings. I think I have to concede that Mike has done an excellent job in shutting me up on that particular issue. After his accusations which will apparently send the water district back to the drawing board, he then complained that the private staff briefing on this issue for Board Members was inappropriate and should have been done in front of the public. All in all he did a pretty good job on this issue, except at the end of the agenda item when he just couldn’t resist a partisan jab, saying this sort of behavior was typical of the previous Board’s “secretive” and “backroom” proceedings, which was just nonsense.

Are We Done With This Yet? No, There’s More Exciting Action To Come!

Although I agree with Town Manager Jackie Brady that Mike was incorrect in his assertion that the briefing represented a violation of the Open Meeting Law, much of the audience was clearly fascinated by his description at how he felt the Board members were being subtly pressured in the private briefing to not raise any objections during the public meeting.

Now this bombshell brought a chorus of “not mees” from the rest of the Board, including, much to my shock, Yoko Allen. Usually Mrs. Allen sits at Board meetings like one of those Disney World robots in The Hall of the Presidents. You know, the Presidents from the late 1800’s that nobody ever heard of, and just sort of move around a little to give the illusion of life while you listen to Abraham Lincoln’s speech? I nearly went into cardiac arrest when she actually spoke up to join the chorus.

Is There An Eagle Scout In The House?

Someone needs to teach the Boy Scout motto to the Board members – Be Prepared. The next item on the agenda was one that Mile Bekoff had put on, a request to Commissioner Sisolak to forward a letter to the Nevada Congressional delegation about fixing the silt problem in the Laughlin Lagoon. Now this isn’t a bad idea, but Mike didn’t have the letter ready and everyone stood around with this “what now“ look on their faces.

We then had the usual parade of people largely from out of state who get to speak before residents do and listen to them tell us a bunch of things that for the most part we don’t care about. Really, if I never hear another briefing from the Bullhead City Public Information Office, I don’t think my life will come to a crashing end.

We then had what I think was the worst set of bad committee reports in the history of the Board. It was all the more embarrassing because the Board members themselves made the reports. They should have said the dog ate my homework. It would have been less humiliating. Honestly, if you’re not particularly good at extemporaneous speaking, have your comments prepared in writing. Not that the public cares if you people sound like a fifth grader giving his “how I spent my summer” report in class, but for crying out loud it’s painful for us to sit through.

We heard from Janet Medina about how some out of state company is offering to build a town bulletin board using ancient 20^th Century Earth technology. Had the people who were actually elected to the Board been seated, we might be further along with the proposed online Master Community Calendar suggested last year. Laughlin Postmaster Terri Ursini had offered to solicit the very small funds needed from the Rotary Club for this project.

Mike Bekoff in his last act as Chair of the Public Safety Committee avoided my blistering criticism and (finally) scheduled the issue of how much of a drain on police resources Vista Creek Apartments will be when it opens for the next Public Safety Committee meeting. Metro will participate.

James Vincent I’m sure said something about the Parks & Recreation Committee but for the life of me I can’t remember a word of it.

Yoko Allen had nothing of any substance to report about the Social Services Committee.

Serf’s Up!

Finally came Community Input or as I like to call it “Hat In Hand Time”. This is when the filthy unwashed masses (that would be us voters) are allowed to speak on what we think is important. Not that anything we have to say is gonna matter worth a thimbleful of rat spit. 

Ed Cooper and Donna Prosser of the ad hoc Laughlin Incorporation Committee each spoke, Ed, who actually wrote the entire incorporation bill, spoke primarily on the work being done to revise it for the next legislative session. Now if only the lobbyist for the firefighters union will decide that we deserve the right to vote, it might actually make it out of committee this time. At a luncheon this last Thursday, I asked Jon Ralston, columnist for The Las Vegas Sun, about how much carrot versus stick the firefighters used on AB 383 and he said that both were in evidence during the legislative session but that the long term issue is the tremendous erosion of their public support due to their recalcitrance over salary negotiations.

(Editors Note: The Laughlin Herald wants to emphasize that this behavior is unique to the Clark County Firefighters union and that the union locals for the Las Vegas, Henderson, North Las Vegas and Mesquite city fire departments have all been responsible and cooperative on compensation issues during the budget crisis. The same can be said for all the police unions as well.)

Donna Prosser then gave a fascinating report on the cost of the Town Managers office per capita as opposed to the City Managers offices in Kingman, Bullhead City, Fallon and Fernly. Plot spoiler: Laughlin didn’t stack up too well. Now in all fairness, as an amateur scholar of Bureaucratic Three Card Monte (Jimmy Carter was the master at this), I would want to see what costs in the Town Managers office are, in the aforementioned cities, buried in other departments. Since Town Manager Jackie Brady doesn’t have other departments to camouflage personnel and other expenses, that would be an appropriate question to look at. For example, how many public information officers are segregated in a separate budget unit in some cities?  Once I see a more detailed apples to apples comparison, then I’ll have more to say on this issue.

Last, but not least, your Editor got up to speak on the earlier proposed new rules for the water district. My concern was not prices but rather a badly written little piece of regulation they’re trying to slip past the public. It was buried on page 26 of 104 pages and it’s called Section 2.7 which I suggest you all remember. I won’t bore you with details but suffice it to say that this rule would allow water district employees access to your property, without your consent, for water conservation purposes, but it’s written so broadly and vaguely (unconstitutionally so in my opinion) that it could easily be abused as carte blanche to shred the property rights of Laughlin citizens.

All in all it was a busy day at your Town Hall.

We welcome the public’s feedback. Please send your Letters To The Editor to editor@laughlinherald.com